This has been a trial for me and my family. It all started with a tonsillectomy at 38 years old, two weeks ago. I was aware that the chance of a bleed out was 2-4% for two weeks after surgery. 13 days after surgery at 11pm I started bleeding. A lot. Was taken to hospital by ambulance where my surgeon performed emergency surgery for hemorrhaging. All details about the hemorrhaging and emergency surgery are on my Facebook page.
Please keep me in your thought as as you can read from my Facebook posts I am very scared. I lost 1/5 of my blood during the hemorrhaging and am weak and my heart is racing still. I’ve been on IV fluids since surgery. I am most worried about Madelyn and Sebastian. They don’t know what to think of it all.
I posted a more info about my day to day recovery then during the hemorrhaging (asking for prayers) on my Facebook wall for those of you who want more details on what’s going on.
My baby boy, the boy who changed my world for ever and for the better was born 13 years ago today.
The last 13 years with him have changed me more than I could imagine being a mother could. You have been the wheel that keeps me spinning. You have no idea how much of an impact you’ve had on me. Thirteen years ago today, God gave me an angel on earth. I can’t imagine life without you.
Despite your age, you are the most loving and tolerant child I could possibly wish for.
My wish for you in this next year and beyond, is that you to continue to be healthy, happy, honest, caring, and as loving as you’ve always been. I never imagined that my son, at 13 years old, would still give me hugs and kisses every day. Or that he’d be so smart.
I also never imagine that you’d grow into being your own self. I thought I could mold you into a craft loving, tennis playing, bike riding boy, but you proved me wrong. You’ve done things I never dreamed you would do. You are a loyal Scout of over six years, a volunteer, a lover of nature and animals, and the most beautiful, wondersul son I could have ever asked for.
To my son who will never know how much you changed my life and made living life possible for me, I love you, Mom.
Here’s a common scenario at my house and I could use some advice on how to handle it.
It’s 7pm (30 minutes before bedtime) and my daughter is eating a single serving cup of ice cream. It’s tiny, really.
Having this little cup of ice cream has become such a habit for her that if we run out or I say no, she thinks the world must be coming to an end. Or that her big brother needs to walk to the store and get some ice cream.
Showing the other snacks so you can visualize the size of the ice cream cup
Ok, she’s not that dramatic but here’s the thing..
My kids eat one of these single serving ice cream cups almost every night after dinner or before bed. I know it’s not great for them but it’s what they do. It’s one of those tiny one serving ice cream cups. So yummy! Anyway, I know they shouldn’t be eating ice cream every day especially before bed. That’s a bad habit. I know that.
The kids eat very well otherwise. They love vegetables and fruit and have them with lunch and dinner and generally eat very healthy, mostly organic food. We don’t eat junk food like cookies or sweets. We just don’t keep them in the house.
The kids don’t drink juice. They drink water and milk. That’s a plus, right?
I guess that’s how I’ve convinced myself that eating a BLUE BELL single serving ice cream every night is OK. But is it really OK. Maybe it is. This is me arguing with myself.
The reality of the situation is that..
I don’t want to deal the drama with that comes with breaking their habit.
Then I have to deal with fussing and I don’t want to do that.
Have you had to break your child(ren) of a bad habit which resulted in you dealing with huge amounts of fussing and stress?
How did you do it? Bribery, cold turkey and Xanax (for you, not the kids)?
Should a game invite decline equate to personal rejection? For me it did.. for a few minutes anyway.
This is an example of how feeling really crappy (sick) and being disappointed (surgery was cancelled) can give even the littlest things power over a person (ie – me).
For a few minutes, I felt rejected because someone who I had been playing a game with on my iPhone, ‘declined’ my invite to a rematch after we’d played several rounds together. She’s a friend on Facebook but we are not really friends (we’re acquaintances and I think she’s a fabulous gal). She could have declined my invite for a rematch for any number of reasons. One of which was accidental which is what I prefer to believe. Otherwise it could have been because she’s tired of the game, has too many games going on, or she doesn’t want to play with me specifically. If the person who declined my invitation, for whatever reason – accidental I’m sure 🙂 is reading this please excuse my pity party and know that I really am not upset. I would love to play again!
Just seeing the words “they declined your invite” is difficult. Maybe Zynga should rethink the wording. Or maybe I should rethink my reaction?
Either way, it’s not a big deal. What sucks is that for a few minutes after she declined my invite for a rematch, I felt awful. I felt rejected. I imagined all of these terrible things she might have been thinking about me the moment she hit decline. How ridiculous is that?
I’m sure I’m being very sensitive right now because I’m sick and my ENT cancelled my surgery that was supposed to be this Friday, yesterday because I’m sick so I’m frustrated and upset which seems to be carrying over into such little things as playing a silly iPhone game. Agh!
Like the title says, I have a million thoughts going through my head and this is a written snapshot of a few of them.
It’s late and I’m still working. I’m working at my kitchen table typing snippets of blog posts, checking emails, checking Facebook, and making sure my websites are all up to date.
I’ve been very busy the past week, with family in from out of town. We stayed at a cottage for a few nights at Callaway Gardens in west Georgia, and have been visiting local attractions like Georgia Aquarium.
While walking through the aquarium today, it hit me that tomorrow (Friday July 27th) marks one week before my surgery. I’m scared about the surgery. I’m having my tonsils removed after struggling with all sorts of illnesses since I was a child. Tonsillitis, Mononucleosis, and possibly some other illnesses that end in itis or osis as well as chronic throat pain.
I know that having my tonsils removed is a good thing and will improve my quality of life but the actual act of having them removed and the two or three weeks that follow is what scares the daylights out of me. I don’t like that I am going to be on general anesthesia and that I’m going to be in pain for some time after the surgery. I don’t like that someone will have to take care of me and my kids for at least a week. My ENT made sure to tell me how painful having tonsils taken out is for adults. Our tonsils are much larger than a child’s which is why recovery time is longer for adults than for children.
So in a nutshell, I have been scared, nervous, anxious, and stressed for the past couple of weeks which is wearing my mind and body out.
I think I’ve been working and doing more lately just to keep my mind off of the surgery. All subconsciously of course. I would never work more just for the fun of it.
On a more positive note, I was lucky enough to go to Santa Fe, New Mexico a couple of weeks ago, with a couple of friends Desiree and Stacie, which helped keep my mind off of the upcoming surgery and I am very happy that some of my family is visiting from out of town now. I don’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t been so busy the past few weeks preparing for their visit and for being out of commission for a couple of weeks after surgery.
I’ll be missing the popular blogger conference, BlogHer ’12, this year which I’m pretty bummed about but I’ll enjoy keeping up with BlogHer via posts on my friend’s Facebook pages and blogs during the conference. That’s if I’m not sleeping or too drugged up on pain meds to read after the surgery.
How will I not freak out the day before surgery? I keep asking myself, is it worth it to have my tonsils taken out or should I just deal with the health issues? I worry that if something happens to me, I’m leaving my kids and that I’m making a conscious decision to have the surgery so it would be my fault. I’m just worried.
