Category Archives: Not A Perfect Parent Series

4 Things I’ve Done To Stay Sane While Working From Home 14 Years

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I’ve been a work from home mom for 14 years and the most important thing I have learned is that working from home is not easy as people think. When I meet someone and I tell them that I run my business from home, most of them suggest that suggest that working from home must make life as a parent so much easier. That’s not always the case; it certainly hasn’t been for me.  I feel very lucky that I have been able to run my business from home but it takes a lot of discipline, consistency and structure.

Learn more about me and my life as a work from home mom and read more articles in my Not A Perfect Parent series here

Do you have a tip for work from home parents? Leave your tip in the comments below.

While working from home makes it easier for me to be available for my kids and I don’t have to spend money  on gas, work clothes or child care, I have also learned that it’s easy to be sidetracked by the needs and wants of my kids as well as dishes piling up in the sink, laundry that needs to be done, and the dog needing to go out.

In the beginning when I first started working from home 14 years ago, I worked at the kitchen table and I allowed myself to be interrupted during work hours, and got easily distracted.   I didn’t set ground rules for my husband or son but over time I figured out some things to do that made working from home much easier.

Here are 4 tips that have helped me stay sane while working from home

1. Choose & De-clutter Your Home Office Space

It’s important you have a designated area to call your home office. Choose a room or area in your home where you can be free of distractions. Make sure the room you pick has a door you can shut and isn’t near where the television may be set at top volume in the next room. Clean your chosen room until it is spotless and clutter free. You don’t want to look around your office and see laundry that needs folding or toys that your kids should have put away.

2. Personalize Your Home Office

de-clutter and organize your home office

When you choose to work from home, it’s important that you feel you are actually going to work when you step into your home office. If you don’t provide yourself with a relaxing atmosphere that is conducive to your work, then you may find yourself constantly finding reasons to leave your office instead of getting your work done. Consider giving the room a nice new paint job, adding nice pictures to the wall and finding something that will encourage you to work while masking any noise your family may be making in other areas of the home.  If you enjoy music, consider listening to Internet music such as Pandora’s Spa station on channel 77. You might also enjoy one of those little waterfall machines for some soothing background sounds.  I have a tiny waterfall in my office and love it!

3. Keep Regular Work Hours

You are much more likely to have a successful work day if you keep to a regular schedule. If possible, you should do your work when your children are away at school. Even when your children are home, you shouldn’t feel bad about posting your work hours on your closed door and explaining to your children you are not to be bothered during those hours unless there is an emergency. You can make it easier on them by doing something special for them on occasion. Consider adding a bistro table with chairs near the window in your home office and invite the family in to have lunch with you once a week. Stick to that once a week schedule though and don’t let the kids color or play games on the table… or you’ll have them knocking on your office door with a cup of tea every chance they get. Speaking from experience. 🙂

4. Take Scheduled Breaks

Remember, part of the reason you have decided to work from home is to spend more time with your children. Be sure to take normal breaks during your work day when you can visit with your children. Make breakfast with them before your work day begins, and try to do special outings once a week such as a picnic at the park or roller skating. Enjoy your children as much as you can because they grow up fast.  If your kids are in school, considering scheduling a visit to your child’s lunch one day a week.  That always makes my daughter’s day!

You never know, maybe you’ll be surprised by what your child does for you while you ‘re taking a break such as showing off how her brother taught her to ride a longboard (middle photo)!

Work from home breaks

These are just a few ways you can thrive as a work from home parent.

Everyone is dealing with a different situation, and you will have to work with a little trial and error until you find exactly what works best for you and your family. Don’t give up if it doesn’t work out well at first. Just try to remember that eventually everything will click into a new routine that works out great for everyone.

– Alicia

Do you have a work from home tip?  Please share it below!

 

 

My 3 Week Meditation Challenge + See What I Worry About & Tell Me What You Worry About..It’ll Be Fun!

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This post is part of my Not a Perfect Parent Series.

Alicia Hagan - Aveeno Daily ChallengeYou might have seen on my Facebook page that I have partnered with Aveeno to participate in the #AveenoDailyChallenge for the next three weeks.  I was given the option of eating healthier, staying better hydrated, or de-stressing/meditating.

Despite the fact that I don’t really enjoy vegetables, I think I eat pretty healthy so I didn’t opt for the ‘eating healthier’ challenge.

I already drink a TON of water everyday so I didn’t opt for the ‘staying better hydrated’ challenge either.

What I was left with and what I really want to work on is de-stressing/meditation.

I think one reason I may get very stressed, besides just from being a parent, is that I don’t get a lot of sleep.  I started experiencing a lack of getting tired when I started going through menopause about 6 years ago.  I have since been diagnosed with insomnia and it is very difficult for me to fall asleep and to stay asleep.  I don’t lay in bed and think about things like bills or what’s on the schedule for tomorrow, it’s just that I don’t feel tired.  I mean, I FEEL tired and I just don’t want to think anymore, but my body doesn’t want to go to sleep.   In hopes of naturally conquering the insomnia, I’ve revised my bedtime routine to include white noise, listening to soothing music (the Spa channel on Sirius XM is great!), reading, a warm bath, sometimes I’ll exercise close to bedtime to see if that makes me feel tired, but none of these things lull me to sleep.  I just don’t get sleepy tired.  BUT my mind is exhausted and I’m useless by about 3am.   I either take something to help me sleep or I don’t sleep.

Does this sound familiar to you?

The upsides of not sleeping are that I get a lot done at night and as strange as it sounds I usually don’t feel tired for the next day even if I didn’t sleep.   It’s an interesting phenomenon really.  This has been happening for six years and you would very seldom see me yawn or complain about being tired.  Mentally tired, maybe but not sleepy tired.  I’m not one who looks forward to going to sleep and have often thought that sleep in a waste of time.  Since learning how important getting a good night’s sleep is though, I am trying very hard to change my thoughts on sleep being a waste of time.

The point is.. I hope that by practicing meditation, which I am doing as part of Aveeno’s #AveenoDailyChallenge program, my body will relax enough so that I can fall asleep naturally and be generally less stressed.

I can’t help but think that my stress level plays a part in my insomnia.  How can my mind and body relax when I’m so stressed even if I don’t feel stressed once I’m in bed?

I am the first to admit that I get stressed and worry, a lot.  This is not something I am proud of or think is because I have a more difficult life than other parents.   I never intended on being a mom who was on the go all of the time.  I didn’t want to be busy busy busy.   BUT, I have to allow my kids to participate in at least once after-school activity/sport each.  It happens to work out so that my son participates in two things which between the two take place on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday and my daughter does two things which between the two, have her doing something after school every Monday, Wednesday and then on Saturday.   That leaves us with Friday to catch up on life, chores, play, and general family hangout time.

Then there are times when I get upset with myself for allowing myself to get stressed and worried when I have kids who are so happy and great!

kidscollage

Here are a few things I worry about

  • I worry about the kids getting hurt doing everyday things like going up and down stairs or walking outside without shoes on
  • I worry if I am going to have a nightmare that night
  • I worry about what’s on the schedule for the next day
  • I worry about how I am going to get both kids to their sports games that are at the same time on Saturday but two different places an hour away from each other
  • I worry about if the puppy eating enough
  • I worry about if there is laundry piling up in the laundry room
  • Did the dishwasher get emptied so dinner dishes can be put right in or are the dishes going to stack up?
  • Will my daughter be up too late on a school night because of my son’s lacrosse practice?
  • Is my daughter’s sniffle going to turn into a sinus infection?
  • Why does my son’s room look like a clothing store vomited it’s merchandise onto his floor and bed?
  • When is the right time to have him clean his room.. it seems like we’re gone all of the time.
  • Am I giving my daughter and son enough individual attention?
  • Am I paying enough attention to their homework and studies?
  • ..The list goes on.

Does your worry list look like this?

What kinds of things do you worry about?

See how myself and 59 other bloggers are committing to the #AveenoDailyChallenge here. 

Post by Aveeno.

 

Stay tuned here and on my Facebook page as I embark on this journey to de-stress!

Not A Perfect Parent: A Mish Mash Of Excitement & Frustration – Cars, A Puppy, Shoes, and Orchids

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This is the second post in my ‘Not a Perfect Parent’ series.  You can read the first post, The Almost Daily Big Time Freak Out, here.

I hope you are having a fabulous day! I had a great morning at the Atlanta International Auto Show.  I love cars and gadgets/technology so being surrounded by beautiful cars with amazing technology was, for me, the equivalent of a child being in a candy shop.  I saw huge cars such as the Cadillac Escalade, tiny cars such as the Fiat 500, and a Nissan sports car that cost $149,000!  You read that right, $149k!   It’s pretty impressive but the $33,000 Cadillac ATS sedan and $38,000 (approx) Toyota 4Runner SUV are more up my alley.

Speaking of cars, I have been test driving a Toyota Tundra 1794 for a week and having never driven a truck before I didn’t know what to expect or didn’t expect much, I should say.  I’m kind of frustrated at the moment because this is my last day with the Tundra and I wanted to drive up north (toward the North Georgia Mountains) in it today but I had to go home after the auto show in order to take our dog out (another story completely) and my daughter is sick so I have to be home for her too. I blame my frustration on the dog, not my daughter.

Here is a photo of the Toyota Tundra 1794 I have been test driving.

Toyota Tundra 1794

Speaking of the dog (aka Cody).. if we are friends on Facebook you might have seen my post about our new puppy.  The puppy was an unplanned surprise that my husband brought home in January.  I was not ready for the responsibility of having a puppy and I thought that was pretty clear, but I guess not.  Madelyn, my 7-year-old, is just starting to sleep through the night which I cherish and I wasn’t ready to have another ‘baby’ in the house, much less one that I didn’t carry for 9 months and give birth to.  Had it been a surprise human baby, that’s one thing, but a puppy.. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to say the least.

When I got home from the auto show, I let the dog out and sat down to work.  Within 30 seconds he sat down next to me and looked up at me and started barking.  Barking, barking, barking.  I played ball with him for a few minutes but that didn’t suffice.  He wanted more attention.  I took him for a walk but he still wasn’t happy enough to let me be.  I don’t know what to do.   I was not in need of something or someone else to suck the energy out of me or require attention then along came the puppy.  He’s pretty cute and seems pretty smart so that helps.  But jeez.. a puppy can really change your life.

Here’s a photo of our puppy, Cody.

puppy

Enough about the dog and on to something exciting and happy.. I was really happy when my new Elorie Bella Ballet Flats arrived yesterday.  I bought a tan/cognac pair about a year ago and have since tried to find a pair of black ballet flats that I like as much as my tan Elorie flats but had no such luck.  I caved last week and ordered the same shoe in black.    Elorie’s Bella ballet flats are comfortable and don’t look like slippers, a combination which I have found to be a rarity for ballet flats.  I am absolutely not a shoe pro so the best way I can describe these to you is with four words: substantial, durable, soft, and comfortable.

Elorie Bella Ballet Flat

I found these ballet flats on Gilt.com, one of my favorite online designer sample sale website’s.   If you aren’t already a member, you should join today.. it’s free!

Another exciting thing about my day is that there are five blooms on my orchid!

What’s something exciting that happened to you today or recently?

orchid blooms

Do you have a favorite piece of clothing or shoe that you have bought more than one of because you like it so much?

Want to vent and share something frustrating that’s happened/happening in your life recently?

 

 

‘Not A Perfect Parent’ Discussion Series: The *Almost Daily* Big Time Freak-Out

Not A Perfect Parent Series

This is part of my new ‘Not a Perfect Parent’ series because much to my dismay, I am not a perfect parent and I need advice sometimes often.

Not A Perfect Parent

I need to come up with a solution to a problem my 7-year-old daughter and I are dealing with.  I would love to get your thoughts and advice on how to deal with this problem that we’re having.  This is not a serious, life-changing problem.. just one that my daughter and I have been dealing with for a few years and I am tired of it!  That being said, let’s move on to the problem.

When it’s time for the kids and I to go anywhere other than to sports practice I get panicky because Madelyn, my 7-year-old daughter, gets it a tizzy about which shoes she’s going to wear, what socks to wear and what jacket to wear, and finding them all is a hassle much of the time.

The clothes she wears don’t matter.  She doesn’t get flustered about her shoes, socks, and jacket because she can’t find the right items to look fashionable oor stylish; she’s not one of those girls yet.  She has her days when she puts together a really cute outfit with layers and great color combinations and even a nice mix of patterns, but that’s not the norm.

Here’s what happens…

She either can’t find the shoes she needs to wear because by the time we leave to go somewhere she doesn’t remember where she put her shoes or her brother puts her shoes somewhere to get them away from the puppy, or one shoe gets stuck under the shoe rack in the coat closet and the other shoe got tossed into one of my teenager’s or husband’s shoes and she can’t find it…the list goes on and on.

This happens despite what I consider to be my best efforts to have a routine which includes immediately putting her school shoes in the coat closet right next to the front door as soon as she gets home from school so she knows where they are when she needs them.   The jacket situation is a bit different in that she has a few jackets and which jacket she wears is very dependent on the weather or so she says anyway.   If there is a slight breeze, she wants to wear her purple light-weight jacket but if there is a chill in the air she wants her pink fuzzy jacket.  If it is warm she wants her cream sweater with the wrap around tie.  Again, despite my efforts to keep all of her jackets on the coat rack in the foyer, 80% of the time she can’t find *the* jacket she’s looking for.

So the drama begins when she looks for another pair of shoes because she can’t find her favorite shoes that she wore to school earlier in the day then she gets frustrated because she can’t find the *right* shoes.. you know, the shoes that fit just right and don’t rub her ankles the wrong way or squeeze her toes a little too tight.   Before she puts her shoes on she has to find socks.  Finding matching socks, despite that I put all of her socks in her sock drawer with a match, can become quite a predicament.  Maybe she has too many socks.

Within about 3 minutes of me telling her that she needs to get ready to leave the house, she starts freaking out then I freak out because I don’t understand why this happens time and time again, then we’re both a a big bundle of freak-out!   Then, we get to get into the car together and enjoy a fun ride to wherever we’re going.  😉

It’s been like this for years and I swear I make an effort to help keep up with her things.

Since writing this post, I have come to the conclusion that the real issue may be that I allow myself to get worked up.   I have a tendency to get anxious about things which is exactly why I make an effort to keep things organized and planned; so that losing things and having a crazy freak-out doesn’t happen.  But it still does.

Oh, and when I say I “freak out” that means I get a little flustered.  I sound like Fancy Nancy don’t I?  I don’t raise my voice or get angry.  I just get frustrated that the same thing happens over and over despite what I’ve done to keep it from happening.  Do you have that issue too?

Is this something that parents just have to deal with because we can’t completely control our children as if they were robots?

Thanks for listening, 

Alicia

Do you have a question you want to ask in the new ‘Not a perfect parent’ series?  Leave it in the comments below or email your question to me at alicia @ themommyinsider.com, no spaces.